Lady Byrd Creations

I've been thinking... 

...about my life as a writer -- how I can't stop myself from writing, how I write when I'm upset and I write when I'm happy.  I write when I am at a loss for words and when the words come easily.  I write in my head; I write in notebooks or on computer; I write in the middle of sermons and seminars; I write while I'm driving and I write in my sleep.  From this, I have come to the realization -- and am satisfied that this is what I know --- I write because I have something worthwhile to say whether the world wants to hear it now or not and I will say it in an empty room, if need be, as long as I say it. 

 

I blog for LA FPI... 

LA FPI is the Los Angeles Female Playwrights Initiative (http://lafpi.com).  I had never blogged before when I said "yes" to being on the Blogging Committee.  I figured that it couldn't hurt since the only way to get better at writing is to write; thus, all writing is good.  I never expected to find that blogging has actually made me more comfortable writing submission essays.  Check out my blogs.

 

All the parts... 

I have been focusing on playwriting more than any other kind of writing I do.  It has taught me a lot.  Recently, I have become aware of a deep longing to use all the parts of me which include writing more poetry, fiction, nonfiction, film...  I have always considered myself a storyteller but I made a conscious decision to focus on telling stories through plays.  Well, the other genres are calling for my attention so I guess the new year will include learning to juggle them all.  How exciting...

All the pieces... 

are coming together.  Slowly it seems but together they come.  I completed a poetry manuscript.  The writing process for it was not the same as it is when I write plays but I did find that I was able to create a theme for the piece and stay with it.  Telling a story in poetry and finding the truth in pulling off the skin to reveal the meat, then the muscle...down to the bone...

All the days...  

It would seem that the days pass too quickly but when gauging where you are against them they don't pass soon enough.  I have this recurring dream of being able to write at my leisure, being able to delve into extensive research on something - anything - and not be interrupted by the alarm clock going off reminding me I have to go to work.  All nighters are fine if you get to  go to sleep after you pull them but having to stay awake and function on a job is brutal... And then there's the occasional rejection letter which makes you wonder when will these days end -- days of waiting for someone to take a chance on your gift so the catch 22 hell will finally stop.  Can't get in without a (you fill in the blank) and can't get a (you fill in the blank) without getting in...  Crazy days...

All the nights...  

I just spent over a week of all nighters trying to complete a play that didn't want to be rushed.  So, I started another one; spent two all nighters and was able to finish it in time for a submission.  Crazy crazy sleepless nights...

All the years...

My father has been dead fifteen years, I know -- I miss him evey day.  I wake to a picture of me and him --  him sitting in a chair, me sitting on the arm of that chair.  Forever.  The year he died, my play The Day of Small Things was produced in Los Angeles.  It was a big thing losing him and an even bigger thing to have to live without him all these years.  I miss his voice the most.  I try...when I am writing to remember his smile when my sisters told him I had a play going up on stage.  He's close when I'm writing...  One day, I'll write him into something and hope the actor cast can find his voice in the words so I can hear him one more time...

All the tears...

I try so hard...  "unsuccessful" it's called... then I cry... then I try again...  such utter madness...

Last things...

"Pay attention, Robbie, we got to get this right. You're going to have to write about it."  One of the last things my mother said to me before she left this earth in April.  Soon as I stop gasping for air, mommy...soon...